Humor: On the Fun Side

1. Capitalism reigns in the atomic world. The unequal sharing of electrons is the central concept of bonding. One of history's most sage remarks concerning sharing was uttered by Winston A. Churchill, Prime Minister of England during World War II. Churchill's quotation was once used in a beer advertisement as follows:
   The inherent virtue of socialism
   is the equal sharing of miseries;
   the inherent vice of capitalism
   is the unequal sharing of Budweiser.
   

   What did Churchill actually say? (Yes, the unequal sharing of wealth!) This was, indeed, a very wise remark on Churchill's part. Some people do have more Budweiser, wealth, luck, and wisdom than do other people. Some atoms, on the other hand, are more electron-wealthy than others-they are said to be more electronegative! Fluorine is the most wealthy, the most capitalistic of all atoms. Electrons are not shared equally between atoms unless those atoms are the same, so unequal sharing is the normal situation. Capitalism reigns supreme in the atomic world!

2. Elements 4 and 18 (from the alkaline earth and noble gas families) form a 1:1 compound that is polar. What is the compound's color and formula? Answer: BeAr which, given that it's polar and has a white color.

3. Question: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin? Answer: Polar Bond.
   (CHEM 13 NEWS, April 1975, p. 894)

4. Limericks:
   • Bond formation can me unwell
     (Electrons join up in a shell)
     For it doesn't seem fine
     To say they combine
     When we know very well they repel!
     (CHEM 13 NEWS, May 1988, p. 7)

     
     

   • While he was out walking alone,
     Old Edward decided to clone.
     He found himself doubled,
     But not the least troubled,
     For two Ed's are better than one!

     
     

   • There's a law that just simply can't be
     About time and space fantasy.
     But Albert Einstein
     Theorized it just fine,
     Because E over M is squared C.
     (CHEM 13 NEWS, May 1981, p. 9)

   
   
5. Rhyme:
   Chemistry is full of rules
   Atoms, moles, and molecules.
   Some of which might fit together,
   Maybe now, and likely never.
   (CHEM 13 NEWS, January 1972, p. 380)

6. Message on a T-shirt: Together we could make beautiful molecules.

7. The adjacent Lewis-dot diagram for Br 2 was one of several similar variants submitted on a recent test by students who shall remain anonymous. (CHEM 13 NEWS, December 1991, p. 2)

   
   

8. CHEMTOON:
   
   We seem to be poles apart. (CHEM 13 NEWS, September 1983, p. 15)

   
   

9. ON HYBRIDS
   Beryllium gave many a plea
   'Cause it's valence electrons weren't free
   And it couldn't combine
   till a thought came to mind
   And it went and invented sp!
   Boron's not satisfied yet
   Its demands really cannot be met
   Though it tries hard to be
   Like He or Ne
   sp 2 is the best it can get.
   Carbon's like one seen before
   His shells couldn't hold any more
   Till his friends lent a hand
   showed him how to expand
   And sp 3 lets him join up with four!
   (CHEM 13 NEWS, September 1981, p. 3)

10. Word Search (see Appendix for master copy)

    

    Words about the concepts in this module can be obtained from the clues given. Find these words in the block of letters:

    1. Type of bond that holds metals together
       
    2. _______ bond, simultaneous attraction by two atomic nuclei for one or more electrons
       
    3. Weak intermolecular force between polar molecules
       
    4. Type of solid in which all atoms are covalently bonded
       
    5. Type of solid in which molecules are weakly attracted to each other
       
    6. Relatively strong type of bond between hydrogen and a highly electronegative atom such as O or N
       
    7. Weakest type of intermolecular attraction
       
    8. Name for electron-dot notation
       
    9. Type of covalent bond in which two pairs of electrons are shared
       
    10. Number denoting number of ions of opposite charge surrounding an ion in a crystal
        

        Answers: 1. METALLIC 2. COVALENT 3. DIPOLE 4. NETWORK 5. MOLECULAR 6. HYDROGEN 7. LONDON 8. LEWIS 9. DOUBLE 10. COORDINATION
        

11. See cartoons at the end of the module.

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